We celebrated with low-fat brownies and sugar-free hazelnut syrup. Who says Researchers don't know how to have a good time?
Alas, like so many coffee machines, we were not able to fully determine its history. Chester Pasternak from Eurest dining services provided us the following helpful information
I have contacted Farmer Brothers as to the life cycle history of this specific unit. They are checking their records and will contact me when they have any information. Our records indicate that there has been two repair calls, in November of 2004 for a broken spigot and in June of 2005 for short cycling. Though this units age has been determined, there is at present no history as to how many times it has been rebuilt. The shell may be aged, but the interior parts may have been replaced many times over the last decades.Farmer Brothers never did give us more information.
A near disaster was averted when, alerted to the age of the coffee pots, Farmer Brothers decided to replace them. This happened on August 15, the day before the party! However, after a few frantic phone calls, we were able to have the old machines returned.
We reminisced about old times, reading some old news articles from the month the coffee maker was "born".
From August 13, 1985, The Seattle Times:
Bellevue's Microsoft Corp. said yesterday it's fiscal 1985 sales rose 44 percent to $140 million, a sign that the company isn't growing quite as fast as it did the past eight years.Until last year, Microsoft managed to at least double its sales every year since 1977.
...Among specialized software companies, the company remains second in sales only to Lotus Development Corp. of Cambridge, Mass.
From August 25, 1985, The Chicago Tribune:
Microsoft Word has the most advanced formatting commands of any word- processing program available. To get the most out of them, however, you really must use a mouse, the hard-shelled rolling device that is finding its way onto computer desks.Using the mouse not only makes Microsoft Word more efficient, it makes the program easier to use... Overall, the program is sound. Unfortunately, when you are writing, do you really want to take your hands off the keyboard, move the mouse around, put your hands back on the keys and start up again? I don't. The extra steps get in the way.
Then, we sang Happy Birthday to 95-76363 (the serial number), but
known to most of us as "Regular" (as opposed to "Decaf", who was
several years younger.) Here's the VIDEO
Later that day, they brought in two new coffee makers. Today was not only 95-76363's birthday, but also the retirement party/funeral. I felt somewhat guilty for having alerted Eurest to Regular's advanced age. The new coffee makers do not have the industrial pureness of image of the old ones, but are instead marred by 1990's plastic faces. 
On the other hand, they do have "Ready to Brew" lights, which the old ones do not
It is hard to know what thoughts a coffee maker would think, if it could. What would it's parting words be? Perhaps it would say "If you drink the last cup, please brew a fresh pot."