Aching for and Aching From - Daniel C. Robbins,
Do you want some bird to lift you from the ground, to take you from the fears, decisions, and walls you are facing?
Where does your body ache?
Do you long to be floating in the clouds?
Or do you merely wish you could effortlessly fast forward in time with the casual flip of a calendar page?
Change is so hard. Fear clutches at us and we clutch back behind ourselves, reaching our arms behind our back at an impossible angle, hoping to find something more substantial than ourselves. We look for an easy way out. If we continue in the same groove, no effort, or at least no unpredictable effort will be required.
Please tell me that there is an easy way to enact change. Please tell me that I can avoid pain, awkwardness, and the unknown. I want to reveal another way of seeing :
For a moment remember the
joy and relief you feel when submerged in a daydream. In our dream we empty at once our entire bag of toys out onto the floor and we have the luxury of picking and choosing. Stay in the dream with me for a while.
When you look at a tree, in our rare day of sunshine, does your gaze skim among the almost bleached top leaves full to the sun? Or does your gaze wrap around the sturdy, bumpy, brown, roots that sink into the ground?
Certainly there is no right answer to this last question. We all find our comfort in different places . I like how those topmost leaves glitter like water at one hour past noon. Stop, keep that image, and open your eyes. Every branch has choice hanging from it. This world withholds no more than the dreamt one. I won't , I can't tell you the how. I can only show you a possibility and a hope. The power to act is really the same power, ability, and cleverness that you use when imagining. Right now one of those leaves is a blanket I curl around myself. It crinkles and threatens to crack with every tug. Right now each root of this tree is a mountain peeking over another root. At the base of each root my tiny feet slip a little in the moistness. Hey, I see you. Your eyes tell me that, yes, part of you likes these conjured images, half of the reality in front of your eyes and half sprinkled with your yearning for escape. Ah, in every dream we build the entire world around ourselves. So the question is: what is the difference between taking ourselves from one daydream to the next and taking ourselves from one action to the next? We quickly answer that the effort of imagining seems not so great, and is more enjoyable, because we choose the details. But, so too in this actual world do we choose our own details. I could choose to release myself, fall backwards into this river and then you would hear me yelp with astonishment impossibly the same as everyone else's. The cold water leaks up my leg and gains my entire focus. Please do not tell me I do not own this kissing cold sensation. Every action has in it past, present, and future, but curiously, in the reverse order: Future is perception : to allow the possibility. Present is action: the effort to do. Past is perspective: to see the value We could spend some time together, exhorting ourselves how lucky we are in what we have, how foolish and selfish it might be to whine of our own miseries. But that is really for you each of you, on your own time, in your own way. Instead, I ask each of you to allow yourselves the joy and power that comes with tasting this confection of delight, possibility, and sensation that we call today.
The sand threatens to burn our feet but w e squeal with joy at being on the beach.